Will Roger Quotes


Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction. Will Rogers


Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need. Will Rogers If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them. Will Rogers One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials. Will Rogers


Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. Will Rogers


People's mind are changed through observation and not through argument. Will Rogers Source:Will Rogers (Hallmark, 1969)

Best Doctor

The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know. Will Rogers


We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it. Will Rogers See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails? Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo


If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production. Will Rogers If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable. Will Rogers One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide. Will Rogers


You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is. Will Rogers

Change Our Representatives

"If we have Senators and Congressmen there that can't protect themselves against the evil temptations of lobbyists, we don't need to change our lobbies, we need to change our representatives." -- Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.71F0


If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later. Will Rogers It's one of the most progressive cities in the world. Shooting is only a sideline. Will Rogers


You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way. Will Rogers, New York Times, Dec. 23, 1929


Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers


Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work. Will Rogers, Weekly Articles (1981), first published 1927


"Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, that don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous." -- Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.303C And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke! Will Rogers This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. Will Rogers A fool and his money are soon elected. Will Rogers If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. Will Rogers "Hurray! Congress is to adjourn! Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury!" -- Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.7194 "A foreigner coming here and reading the Congressional Record would say that the President of the United States was elected solely for the purpose of giving Senators somebody to call a horse thief." -- Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.719F "That's what a Congressman or a Senator is for -- to see that too much money don't accumulate in the national Treasury." -- Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.719D


Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators. Will Rogers


What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. Will Rogers


We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business? Will Rogers


On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. Will Rogers


I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat. Will Rogers


The best way out of a difficulty is through it. Will Rogers


"Diplomacy is the art of saying nice doggy until you can find a rock." -- Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist http://liberty-tree.ca/qb/Will.Rogers.Quote.728D Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week. Will Rogers


An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's. Will Rogers


There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in. Will Rogers

Fifteen Years

"It will take America fifteen years of steady taking care of our own business and letting everybody else's alone, to get us back to where everybody speaks to us again." Will Rogers American humorist http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.7290


Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else. Will Rogers, Illiterate Digest (1924), "Warning to Jokers: lay off the prince"

George Washington

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father." Will Rogers


I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. Will Rogers


"Income taxes have made more liars out of the American people than golf." -- Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist source:http://liberty-tree.ca/qb/Will.Rogers.Quote.041D I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. Will Rogers


The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. Will Rogers


I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. Will Rogers, Saturday Review, Aug. 25, 1962 There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. Will Rogers Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. Will Rogers Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it. Will Rogers


If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. Will Rogers


We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. Will Rogers Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is. Will Rogers, Newspaper article, Feb. 15, 1925 This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. Will Rogers

Holding Company

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you. Will Rogers


An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. Will Rogers You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. Will Rogers, New York Times Aug. 31 1924 America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few. Will Rogers


"A Country can get more real joy out of just Hollering for their Freedom than they can if they get it." -- Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist Source: The Autobiography of Will Rogers http://liberty-tree.ca/qb/Will.Rogers.Quote.DFED


An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. Will Rogers We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. Will Rogers


The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing. Will Rogers Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer. Will Rogers


Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. Will Rogers


The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living. Will Rogers


"It doesn't much matter whom one marries for you are sure to find out the next morning that it was someone else!" Will Rogers


If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? Will Rogers


"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like" Will Rogers


There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education. Will Rogers, Autobiography (1949) chapter 6

Movie Star

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. Will Rogers The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. Will Rogers


I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times. Will Rogers


When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states. Will Rogers


America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there. Will Rogers


Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln. Will Rogers Source:http://en.thinkexist.com/search/searchquotation.asp? search=taft


A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries. Will Rogers


Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. Will Rogers, New York Times, Sept 30 1923

Pay Vs. Cost

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts. Will Rogers

Political Parties

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. Will Rogers


Politics is applesauce. Will Rogers The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best. Will Rogers, Illiterate Digest (1924), "Breaking into the Writing Game" If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics. Will Rogers Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. Will Rogers There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail. Will Rogers


I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up. Will Rogers


Prohibition is better than no liquor at all. Will Rogers Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. Will Rogers


Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? Will Rogers

Republican Convention

The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking. Will Rogers

Right Track

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers


Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth. Will Rogers, 'Politics Getting Ready to Jell,' The Illiterate Digest, 1924


"One of these days they are going to remove so much of the 'hooey' and the thousands of things the schools have become clogged up with, and we will find that we can educate our broods for about one-tenth of the price and learn 'em something that they might accidentally use after they escape." Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.72D5 The schools ain't what they used to be and never was. Will Rogers

Seeing Ahead

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it. Will Rogers


There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators. Will Rogers About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation. Will Rogers


You shake a slogan at an American and it's just like showing a hungry dog a bone." -- Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist http://liberty-tree.ca/qb/Will.Rogers.Quote.70C0


Nothing you can't spell will ever work. Will Rogers


When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur. Will Rogers

Stock Advice

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it. Will Rogers


"How is the government going to get the extra taxes? Out of the rich -- or just out of the poor, as usual?" Will Rogers Source:http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.B6DE If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. Will Rogers

U.S. Treasury

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even. Will Rogers


The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How is the president?" Will Rogers


You can have all the advanced war methods you want, but, after all, nobody has ever invented a war that you don't have to have somebody in the guise of soldiers to stop the bullets. Will Rogers Source:http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.B758

Wasted Time

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers, New York TImes, Apr. 29, 1930

Way Things Are

Things ain't what they used to be and never were. Will Rogers

Yersterday and Today

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. Will Rogers

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