Will Roger Quotes




Action
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction. 
Will Rogers 

Advertising
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money 
they don't have for something they don't need. 
Will Rogers 

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving 
their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't 
have to advertise them. 
Will Rogers 

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials. 
Will Rogers 

Advice
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot
to the town gossip.
Will Rogers

Argument
People's mind are changed through observation and not through argument.
Will Rogers
Source:Will Rogers (Hallmark, 1969)

Best Doctor
The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his
patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.
Will Rogers 

Bite
We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it. 
Will Rogers 

See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo

Business
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 
'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production. 
Will Rogers 

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable. 
Will Rogers 

One-third of the people in the United States promote, 
while the other two-thirds provide. 
Will Rogers 

Chance
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is. 
Will Rogers 

Change Our Representatives
"If we have Senators and Congressmen there
that can't protect themselves against
the evil temptations of lobbyists,
we don't need to change our lobbies,
we need to change our representatives."
-- Will Rogers
(1879-1935) American humorist
http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.71F0

Cincinnati
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. 
Everything comes there ten years later. 
Will Rogers 

It's one of the most progressive cities in the world. 
Shooting is only a sideline. 
Will Rogers 

Civilization
You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every
war they kill you in a new way.
Will Rogers, New York Times, Dec. 23, 1929

Comedians
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians 
seriously and the politicians as a joke. 
Will Rogers 

Communism
Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.
Will Rogers, Weekly Articles (1981), first published 1927

Congress
"Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, 
that don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous."
-- Will Rogers
(1879-1935) American humorist
http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.303C

And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can 
take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible 
or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with 
Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time 
they make a law, it's a joke! 
Will Rogers 

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session
as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
Will Rogers

A fool and his money are soon elected. 
Will Rogers 

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of 
funny things passed in one session of congress. 
Will Rogers 

"Hurray! Congress is to adjourn!
Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury!"
-- Will Rogers
(1879-1935) American humorist
http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.7194

"A foreigner coming here and reading the Congressional Record would
say that the President of the United States was elected solely for the
purpose of giving Senators somebody to call a horse thief." 
-- Will Rogers
(1879-1935) American humorist
http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.719F

"That's what a Congressman or a Senator is for --
to see that too much money don't accumulate in the national Treasury." 
-- Will Rogers
(1879-1935) American humorist
http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.719D

Constitution
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
Will Rogers 

Country
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. 
Will Rogers 

Crime
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it 
and then tax it out of business? 
Will Rogers 

Democracy
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the
only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years,
no matter what it does.
Will Rogers

Democrat
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat. 
Will Rogers 

Difficulty
The best way out of a difficulty is through it. 
Will Rogers 

Diplomacy
"Diplomacy is the art of saying nice doggy until you can find a rock."
-- Will Rogers
(1879-1935) American humorist
http://liberty-tree.ca/qb/Will.Rogers.Quote.728D

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are 
for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing 
would fall flat in a week. 
Will Rogers 

Economist
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's. 
Will Rogers 

Education
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him 
off the thing he was educated in. 
Will Rogers 

Fifteen Years
"It will take America fifteen years of steady taking care
of our own business and letting everybody else's alone,
to get us back to where everybody speaks to us again."
Will Rogers
American humorist
http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.7290

Funny
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
Will Rogers, 
Illiterate Digest (1924), "Warning to Jokers: lay off the prince" 

George Washington
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for 
calling him "father." 
Will Rogers 

 Girls
I never expected to see the day when girls would get 
sunburned in the places they now do. 
Will Rogers 

Golf
"Income taxes have made more liars
out of the American people than golf."
-- Will Rogers
(1879-1935) American humorist
source:http://liberty-tree.ca/qb/Will.Rogers.Quote.041D

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything 
like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the 
game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to 
hate your enemies. 
Will Rogers 

Gossip
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
Will Rogers

Government
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and 
report the facts. 
Will Rogers, Saturday Review, Aug. 25, 1962

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole
government working for you.
Will Rogers

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. 
Will Rogers 

Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it. 
Will Rogers 

Heaven
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. 
Will Rogers

Heroes 
We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and
clap as they go by.
Will Rogers

Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.
Will Rogers, Newspaper article, Feb. 15, 1925

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. 
Will Rogers 

Holding Company
A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice 
the goods while the policeman searches you. 
Will Rogers 




Ignorant 
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have 
just found out. 
Will Rogers 

You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Will Rogers, New York Times Aug. 31 1924

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. 
I will belong to the select few. 
Will Rogers 

Joy
"A Country can get more real joy out of just Hollering for their Freedom
than they can if they get it."
-- Will Rogers
(1879-1935) American humorist
Source: The Autobiography of Will Rogers
http://liberty-tree.ca/qb/Will.Rogers.Quote.DFED

Laugh
An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a 
vegetable invented to make them laugh. 
Will Rogers 

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
Will Rogers 

Lawyers
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing. 
Will Rogers 

Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer. 
Will Rogers 

Liberty
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. 
Will Rogers 

Living
The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. 
That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual 
work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes 
you a living. 
Will Rogers 


Marriage
"It doesn't much matter whom one marries for you are 
sure to find out the next morning that it was someone else!" 
Will Rogers

 Mess
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? 
Will Rogers 

Money
"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, 
to buy things they don't want, 
to impress people they don't like"
Will Rogers

Movies
There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education. 
Will Rogers, 
Autobiography (1949) chapter 6 

Movie Star
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started
out with twenty-eight years ago.
Will Rogers

The movies are the only business where you can go out 
front and applaud yourself.
Will Rogers 

Newspapers
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town 
with only one newspaper, I read it eight times. 
Will Rogers 

Oakies
When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, 
it raised the I.Q. of both states. 
Will Rogers 

Odd
America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting 
somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there. 
Will Rogers 

Ohio
Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one 
since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one 
since Lincoln.
Will Rogers
Source:http://en.thinkexist.com/search/searchquotation.asp?
search=taft

Opinion
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing 
and missionaries. 
Will Rogers 

Papers
Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.
Will Rogers, New York Times, Sept 30 1923 

Pay Vs. Cost
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts. 
Will Rogers 

Political Parties
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to 
admit that each party is worse than the other.
Will Rogers 

Politics
Politics is applesauce.
Will Rogers

The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to
admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out
always looks the best.
Will Rogers, Illiterate Digest (1924), "Breaking into the Writing Game"

If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics. 
Will Rogers 

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of 
money even to be defeated. 
Will Rogers 

There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail. 
Will Rogers 

Prodigy
I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who
knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up. 
Will Rogers

Prohibition
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all. 
Will Rogers 

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, 
why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting 
anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the 
Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the 
smartest race of people on earth. 
Will Rogers 

Question
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to
happen to us with both a Senate and a House? 
Will Rogers 

Republican Convention
The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. 
If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican 
Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us 
ought to get it without even asking. 
Will Rogers 

Right Track
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over 
if you just sit there. 
Will Rogers 

Rumor
Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
Will Rogers, 
'Politics Getting Ready to Jell,' The Illiterate Digest, 1924

Schools
"One of these days they are going to remove so much of the 'hooey' and
the thousands of things the schools have become clogged up with,
and we will find that we can educate our broods for about one-tenth
of the price and learn 'em something that they might accidentally use
after they escape."
Will Rogers
(1879-1935) American humorist
http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.72D5

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was. 
Will Rogers 

Seeing Ahead
The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the 
popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the 
one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he 
can't make anybody believe that he has it. 
Will Rogers 

Senators
There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open 
season on senators.
Will Rogers 

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it 
opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation. 
Will Rogers

Slogan
You shake a slogan at an American and
it's just like showing a hungry dog a bone."
-- Will Rogers
(1879-1935) American humorist
http://liberty-tree.ca/qb/Will.Rogers.Quote.70C0

Spell
Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
Will Rogers 

Sports
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has 
earned all he can in college as an amateur. 
Will Rogers 

Stock Advice
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold
it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it. 
Will Rogers 

Taxes
"How is the government going to get the extra taxes?
Out of the rich -- or just out of the poor, as usual?" 
Will Rogers
Source:http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.B6DE

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the 
creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that 
don't get wet you can keep. 
Will Rogers 

U.S. Treasury
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that 
was the closest our country has ever been to being even. 
Will Rogers 

Vice-president
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. 
All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 
"How is the president?" 
Will Rogers 

War
You can have all the advanced war methods you want, but, after all,
nobody has ever invented a war that you don't have to have somebody
in the guise of soldiers to stop the bullets. 
Will Rogers
Source:http://quotes.liberty-tree.ca/quote_blog/Will.Rogers.Quote.B758

Wasted Time
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time
we have rushed through life trying to save.
Will Rogers, New York TImes, Apr. 29, 1930

Way Things Are
Things ain't what they used to be and never were. 
Will Rogers 

Yersterday and Today
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. 
Will Rogers 


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