Mark Twain

Tea Baggers Suck


"It is better to give than receive -- especially advice." Mark Twain Source: /ci_19655487?source=most_viewed


All you need in this life is ignorance and cofidence: The success is sure. Mark Twain


It is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies. Mark Twain Source:Twains Book Letters from the EarthLetters from the Earth


In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them. Mark Twain Source: news/doc4f2803b08a97b981141122.txt


I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one. They are the cleanest, cunningest, and most intelligent things I know outside of the girl you love, of course" Mark Twain When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction. Mark Twain John Lennon Lives!


If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be, a Christian. Mark Twain


Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain


I can live for a week off one good compliment. Mark Twain


No man's life, liberty or property is safe while Congress is in session. Mark Twain "There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress" Mark Twain "There is good news from Washington today. Congress is deadlocked and cannot act." Mark Twain source: 20120203,0,6207443.story


"nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public" Mark Twain Source:


"Each must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, and which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your convictions is to be an unqualified and inexcusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let man label you as they may. If you alone of all the nation shall decide one way, and that way be the right way according to your convictions of the right, you have done your duty by yourself and by your country- hold up your head! You have nothing to be ashamed of." Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910)

Criminal Jury System

"We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read." Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910)


"Often the less there is to justify a traditional custom the harder it is to get rid of it." -- Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910)

Dog and Man

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain Source: Pudd'nhead Wilson


Men fight over water but drink whiskey. Mark Twain


I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. Mark Twain


An expert is anyone out of town, Mark Twain


Get your facts first, the you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain


"Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion." Mark Twain source: /mark-twain-to-entertain-at-newborn-schoolhouse/


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain


"[N]o country can be well governed unless its citizens as a body keep religiously before their minds that they are the guardians of the law and that the law officers are only the machinery for its execution, nothing more." Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910)


"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme." Mark Twain Source: a-frighteningly-similar-pattern-to-2008-2011-11


"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place." Mark Twain Source:


"I am personally acquainted with hundreds of journalists and the opinion of the majority of them would not be worth tuppence in private. But when they speak in print is it the newspaper that is talking (the pygmy scribe is not visible) and then their utterances shake the community like the thunders of prophecy." Mark Twain Source: /jack-mcelroy-political-news-is-one-sure-bet-for/


It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so. Mark Twain


Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff. Mark Twain GOP spells asshole


Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. Mark Twain moore-fundraiser-this-friday-at-uconn


"I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead." Mark Twain "If I'd had more time, I'd have written a shorter letter." Mark Twain Source: guvs-letter-uva-mess-went-it-ended-right-tone


"There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy" Mark Twain Source: /review-george-clooneys-poignant-descendants-one-years-best-films/


Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. Mark Twain


I must have a predigious quantity of mind; It takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. Mark Twain


"I have nothing against moderation so long as it doesn't harm anyone." Mark Twain rush sucks

Moral Courage

"It is curious - curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare." Mark Twain Source: article_b0df035a-3b0d-11e1-a42a-001a4bcf6878.html


Tunes are good remembrancers, Almost every one I hear instantly summons a face when I hear it. Mark Twain Source: SectionID=1&SubSectionID=38&ArticleID=6267

New Year

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks and humbug resolutions. ... Mark Twain


"The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all," Mark Twain We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove. We have two opinions: one private, which we are afraid to express; and another one - the one we use - which we force ourselves to wear to please Mrs. Grundy, until habit makes us comfortable in it, and the custom of defending it presently makes us love it, adore it, and forget how pitifully we came by it. Look at it in politics." -- Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910)


Go to Heaven for the climate. Hell for the company. Mark Twain

Philippine-American War

I have read carefully the Treaty of Paris [between US and Spain, 1898], and I have seen that we do not intend to free, but to subjugate, the people of the Philippines. We have gone there to conquer, not to redeem… Mark Twain Source: &publicationSubCategoryId=64


The man who can read but doesn't, has no advantage over the man who can't. Mark Twain /x843628643/Herman-Cain-says-we-need-a-leader-not-a-reader


"All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel." Mark Twain

Self Preservation

Be careful about reading health book. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain

Senator Clark of Montana

"He is as rotten a human being as can be found anywhere under the flag; he is a shame to the American nation, and no one has helped to send him to the Senate who did not know that his proper place was the penitentiary, with a ball and chain on his legs. To my mind he is the most disgusting creature that the republic has produced since Tweed's time." Mark Twain Source: cf0658-4143-11e1-8f9e-001871e3ce6c.html


"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times." Mark Twain


"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." Mark Twain Mushroom

The Church

The church is always trying to get other people to reform, it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example, Mark Twain


'Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness.' Mark Twain


"truth is stranger than fiction. In fiction, you have to stick to possibilities. With truth you don't need to." Mark Twain Source: dll/portal/ep/ =-1073865029&programId=1080133016


“If you don't like the weather in New England, wait 15 minutes.” love you Mushroom


"I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars." Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910) Source: "The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today", 1873


"Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.” -- Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910) My Zen Home (Buddha Stuff) MidnightFlyer's Homepage Winnie The Pooh Quotes Howie's Presidential and Political Page Benjamin Franklin Quotes Larry Flynt - Defender of the First Amendment Quotes From Supreme Court Justices Will Rogers Quotes Unfinished Business Mail James Howington

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